WIGS AND WHITE SPACES
BEAUTY AND HAIR
Makeup, I would say it's kind of a new territory for me. I just try out random things and some days it looks horrible, some days it looks good, and I'm cool with that. Take pictures on the days that it looks nice, don't take pictures on the days that it doesn't. It's pretty new for me, so I don't know all the cool tricks, and all of the different styles that are out there, but I just like playing with it and trying it out. In terms of hair, I love changing my hair.
If you see me tomorrow I will have different hair. I like exploring with different textures, different wigs. I've actually started recently wearing a lot of wigs, it's a big part of my life also because my mom did do some hairdressing when I was a kid, I would always pick up on what she did, and even break my own hair and do single braids.
ACCESS & AVAILABILITY
I have lots of experiences like that. The first one that comes to mind is when I used to get products from Shoppers Drug Mart, like the Cover Girl compact powder and I used to just use that, and I went one time and they didn't have my colour, so I went to the worker and I was like, "Hey do you guys have a darker shade," and they exclaimed "Oh we don't carry that here." I'm like, "So, like ever? You guys don't ever carry that?" And they're like, "Well they don't ship it to us sometimes," and that's it. For me, I just thought it was such a big deal that they wouldn't try, like they didn't care. I guess it's just Shoppers Drug Mart. But it was just like a shocker to me. I was like, so no one cares? Okay,what am I supposed to do? For my hair, that happens a lot, all the time people are like, "Can I touch your hair?" Or , "Why can't I touch it? Why do you think it's weird? I wouldn't mind if you touched my hair." And I'm like, I first of all don't want to touch your hair, you shouldn't want to touch my hair.
HAIR AND WORK SPACES
I have an Afro, like I have an actual Afro, and when I leave it out, I don't touch it, I just leave it out, and I let it be wild, and especially in different settings. I work at a daycare sometimes, and it's a predominately white daycare, there are no black children there. I actually had a kid come up to me and she's said, "Oh your hair is really different today," because I let my hair out that day. And I was like, "Yeah." She was around six years old and she exclaimed, "You don't like it, right? And it's really hard for you to manage, right?" First of all, the fact that you think that and you have that idea in your head as a child is just ... I don't know, it was a lot for me, for a six-year-old to say that. Especially that she thinks that when someone has their hair out, or their hair is big, that they automatically wanted to be smaller or for it to be straight. She's like, "Yeah it's really curly and you wanted to be straight, right?" I was like, "Oh no sweetie, actually I like my hair. I'm just leaving it up today." There was a time when I had like a fluff in my hair, and before I left the house, I was telling my sister "I know someone is going to touch my hair or try to touch it or do something to my hair today." So I leave and I have placement, I'm with the person there and they're like, "There's something in your hair." And I say, "Oh okay." And she continues, "Do you want me to take it out for you?" And I say, "No, that's okay." Eventually she took it out, but I can tell that it was kind of also, kind of like, touching your hair to see how it felt like, so just little stuff like that happens often.
NAVIGATING WHITE SPACES
Something that I like to do is make sure that I stand up for and represent, other black people in anything I do. If I'm doing a project, I'm going to narrow it down to something that has to do with the black community. In terms of beauty, as of recently actually, especially with Rihanna's new makeup, trying to seek out black owned cosmetic companies, just to support them and get their name out there.
Also just in terms of beauty standards in general, and how it's more so a Eurocentric beauty standard, I think that okay I know that they're trying to integrate more black beauty into the beauty world, but I still see that there's only like one type. For instance for models, it's either going to be a super dark model who's thin and has a lot of actual European features, that's what I personally think. I try to educate people and let them know that there are other black beautiful people other than what they see.
Educating myself about black culture, about my own culture, so that I can represent that in different things, because it's been suppressed for so long, especially coming from the Caribbean, we don't really know what part of Africa we're actually from, so it can be stressful at times to not really know that. Digging into that, and trying to figure that out so that I can represent it and talk about it and have others learn about it, because I can't criticize people for not knowing about something when I myself don't know about it.
That's my main thing, educating myself about things so that when that time comes, I can say I know about this, and I can teach you or show you and tell you about stuff and not be like as ignorant or is clueless as the other person.
I have really oily skin. I like MAC foundation. It's pretty matte, and it's full coverage, so I can just slap it on quick, I don't have to do anything. The colour, I feel like, matches pretty good. I grew up seeing my mom use MAC, and it was like the original thing that I went for, I was like, "Oh, I'll just use MAC". Smashbox Photo Finish, I actually just tried, it's pretty good. Revlon Photoready™ Perfecting Primer, I don't know if this is oil free or anything, but my mom used it too, so I copied her and I used it. I got it as well. This LA Girl pro concealer in the colour coffee, from the beauty supply store. It's so cheap and it's good. Lastly, ColourPop, in the colour tulle.
NATURAL, WIGS, PERMS?
I recently left my hair natural. I used to perm it. I think I permed it when I was nine, because I was tired of my mom would always have to like blow dry it, and it was just annoying. I said I don't want to do it anymore, so then she said fine if that's what you want. So I did it. It was good, like my hair was good, my mom was a hairdresser, so she would get it set up, and then when I got older and I had to start on my own here, especially first year of university, I lived with roommates, and I was so bad with my hair. I would wash it and leave it wet.
For me, my hair was not the "leave it wet girl, go outside", it just wasn't supposed to do that. I would just leave it wet, I would wash it, and leave gel in it or not wash it, and that was really, really bad the first year, because I didn't have all the products that I needed to use with it. They were all at my parents house. So I was not buying that expensive stuff, and I'm not going there every week to get it, so I got shampoo from Dollarama. The worst decision of my life. I got this Dove shampoo, I'm like it's Dove, it should work, I use Dove soap, so the shampoo shouldn't be so bad, but it was a piece of sh*t for my hair. It was so bad. My hair literally fell off.
I got braids a lot and let it grow back, and then I didn't want to perm my hair anymore, I'm just going to let it do it's thing, now it's pretty good, that happened with my hair. I just got it back to health. To change my hair and stuff like that, the product wise, I use Shea moisture that are actually made for my hair, and I will never buy shampoo from Shoppers or Dollarama ever again.